As a natural-born caregiver (oldest of 7 children), I have had tendencies in the past to attract alcoholic/addicts into my life. I used to think I had a neon sign on my forehead saying, “Here I am, abuse/use me…” My ex-husband was an abusive alcoholic/drug addict. When I decided I was leaving for good, he checked himself into a St. Luke’s rehab hospital for a 3-week program (he was back to his old ways within 3 months because he would not call on his sponsor and his ‘friends’ would not come around any more). It was during the family therapy groups there that I learned what enablers were. I also learned a lot about what it means to be an enabler from the Al-Anon program. Both parties have dysfunctional issues that need to be dealt with, mainly self-worth and who we are in Christ.
Enabling is codependency in action. An…
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